I am strong. I am ready for anything. Even the most painful. I hope.

the worst thing is not being able to stop yourself from crying.

I want a future with him, but it can't be a one way street. There has to be a point where we further our relationship and live together, or it will remain the same: apart.

Enough Said.

Haha, I miss them.

Thanksgivin!

Whole Foods turkey with amniotic fluids and dingleberries. Wtf?

Current Thought

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001941/

I guess it never ceases to amaze me that people who have major depression just drag you down with them. I hope that one day I will be able to not suck in the bad energy that encompasses this shit.

8tracks

http://8tracks.com/bananaramaz

Hey everybody! Check out my 8tracks and enjoy the tunes I've put together.

Volpe the Shiba Inu Returns (#2)

I want to add more pictures of Volpe because I've noticed there have been a great deal of views on the last blog!

As I mentioned before, Volpe will allow anyone to dress him up with clothing or bling. Here are a few examples. The first image (below) was taken by my Mum's boyfriend just this morning. Volpe was whining for a bagel with cream cheese that was being consumed just a foot away, and this seemed like a good opportunity to put a hat on him after he perched himself on the couch. The second image (above) was taken last year by my mum after she put on some of her boyfriend's motorcycle garb. Volpe really doesn't mind when anyone puts a scarf or hat on him for some reason. He literally will sit there and be glamorous for the camera. My theory is that he is just too damn lazy to care, haha. Plus, I think he knows how adorable he is and he can't pass up attention.


The next photo was taken by my mum recently. I received this over text and couldn't help but laugh my face off because it describes Volpe so well. As I mentioned, when he doesn't want to move, or go on a walk, he will roll on his back and force himself into a deep sleep. He loves to sleep like this in general in the morning, and this image is what we wake up to sometimes. I don't think I've seen a dog look THAT happy before, to the point that he just lets it all hang out. It really doesn't get any better for this Shiba. He could sleep ALL day if he could, but we have to take him on walks eventually. He must have a pretty solid bladder for how long he can hold it all in...I still don't know how he does it. Well, enjoy his rubbery lips and fangs!

The last image is one I took about two years ago in the car. Volpe loves his car rides and falls asleep in seconds, no surprise there. I love this picture because he is a beautiful Shiba and I think it truly captures him in all his glory. You can also see his cinnamon bun tail!

Daniel, the jumping robot.

My baby cousin is easily entertained, like a cat, with any type of box. Here he is hopping around and pretending to be a robot at my Cousin's bridal shower way back when.

A Part of Me.

Volpe the Shiba Inu

Meet my dog, Volpe (vole-pay). Volpe's name means "fox" in Italian because he looked like a little baby fox when we got him, but also mixed with a bear. A lot of people mistake Shina Inus for foxes when they see them at first, especially the red ones.

Factoids about Volpe

Age: 7 1/2

Eye Color: Brown (they look like raptor eyes)

Coloring: Black & Tan, but getting more white in age

Hobbies: Eating, Sleeping, Playing with his sisters, Nibbling his toys, Secretly (not-so-secretly) farting, Scratching his ears and smelling his foot afterward, Never obeying, Acting cute to get treats, Following his Mum around

Quirks: Scratching the fridge (and other home furniture) when he's hungry, Turning on his back when he's not ready for a walk and we are, Monkey noises when he gets riled up, A strange ability to eat a inhumanly amount of cheese, Letting anyone put hats, scarves, or glasses on him

Volpe really isn't like other Shibas I have seen or met. He is highly co-dependent at times, but can definitely be an ass when he doesn't want to be involved with humans. If the door is open for too long, he will flee and enjoy his 15 minutes of escapism; That is, until we lure him back with cheese. Volpe has an excess amount of chin, and it makes me happy everyday just looking at him.

More to come on Volpe, but for now, I will leave you with some videos I took this morning. I've been in Boston looking for work (which has been a success!) so he was really excited to have me home (my mom's house). He slept on the couch with me all night and took up too much space, per usual, haha.



And who would I be if I didn't leave you all with some tricks Volpe has mastered throughout the years? :)

My New Hero

If you don't know about John Hodgman, I suggest you do some research. For those of you who enjoy your fill of comedy and ridiculous, this is the man for you. He gave my sister and I the best booking signing for our soon-to-be Brother in law.

http://areasofmyexpertise.com/


<3

I've landed

IN BOSTON!

This Is Love.

Ace Enders.

I feel

so anxious lately. I need more structure and substance in my life right now. I have way too much time to do nothing, or focus on things that don't need attention. :/.

Meet My New Creation.

Handmade with the help of my sister, Rachel, and Mum.
Destination: Trumbull, Connecticut to my boo's residence.

Passions

One of my passions is taking care of children. Not even, merely bonding and connecting with them would be the better way to describe it. I think I applied to about 8 different care giving positions for children and animals in the past 15 minutes. I'm actually really surprised that I love children so much sometimes because I had that phase as an adolescent where I felt uncomfortable being about young ones. Now, I want to take care of all the kids of the Seacoast area. I am a firm believe that all children should receive genuine love and should be allowed to explore their imaginations. I also strive to be a positive influence and figure in a child's life because, well, it's just plain crucial.

I think I am beginning to understand why my mother loves children so much, as does her mother, and my grandmother's mother, and so on. I think I would be happy in life being surrounded by kids, even if they weren't entirely my own. Meaning, if I don't have children of my own I won't be devastated, but I will make sure I never give up on the youth in our world. They are just too damn fragile and important to simply let go of. I'm still shocked that I am drawn to childcare this much right now in my life. I guess it's triggered because of babysitting and having such wonderful experiences with kids.

This is a video of my baby cousin and myself playing Mario and Luigi on our own DS systems. I love him to bits. It's amazing watching him grown up and start to learn about the world. I remember being astonished at how smart he already was at age three, and now....lordy, I try to keep up with him! Maybe it was my baby cousin that made me adore kids again...who knows! I love him so much and I can't wait to see him grow more and be an influence in his development.

I hope another Cousin Day is soon to come!

LGBTQ+ Activism

UNH Safe Zones-


Check it out! Especially if you're close to the campus and/or go to UNH.

http://www.unh.edu/safezones/

I love this girl!

This is my roommate from Freshman year of college and I love her to pieces! Her name is also Hannah, spelled the same way and everything, and she is a beautiful person. She has the greatest laugh that triggers endless laughter in me and we usually have laughing fits for hours. I hope we get to love together again in our future because Hannah's stick together and we have such a blast with one another. Look at how beautiful she is! I'm one lucky person to have met her. I love you, Hannah! :D Shine on! We are so living together one day, just so you know. AND we are going to travel the world! WIN!

LOVES!

:)

I'm sending loving energy to one of my biggest heroes, Larry. Happy Birthday!

I met Larry when I was an undergrad at college and was thrilled the first time we met over tea. We had some of the loveliest conversations and he gave me such insights into the beauty of life, and even love troubles, which I was having at that time. Larry was the biggest mentor I had at this University and I feel my life has changed for the better because of him. In this picture you can see we are both wearing smiles and drum necklaces. I will never forget the moment he gave me this necklace. I had spotted it before I received it and I remember thinking, "wow, what a beautiful drum...I wish I had one!" Haha. I didn't expect to be wearing one by the end of the pre-graduation graduation. I was saying goodbye to Larry before I went to the big commencement ceremony across the way. After taking multiple pictures together, he unwound a drum in his hand and dubbed me with it. I will never forget the tears in both our eyes. The moment of immense change coming in both our direction. Me graduating and Larry watching his loved-ones start a new chapter in their lives. It was truly bittersweet. It was in that moment that I realized that the kind love we have for one another overpowered any evil or bad in the world. I have experienced such moments in my life, but never one like this. My fear of growing up and graduating subsided when I saw the pride in Larry's eyes. He gave me courage, grace, and happiness the day of my graduation, and I couldn't have been happier.

I carry this drum with me, whether around my neck, or in my heart. Larry is a human being that you can't find enough words for because he defies language. I hope everyone has someone like Larry in their lives because you truly feel loved and understood. Such a mentor and person is crucial and I couldn't feel more grateful than I do right now.

Larry,

You are such a brilliant and beautiful human being. I have never met a human being who has a heart as big as you and you inspire me everyday to be the person I am today. Please continue your powerful work because this world needs you. Shine on, even on the days when the sun doesn't feel close to you. We are connected and rooted in so many ways. The drum will always connect us and will always remind me of your incredible soul. Thank you so much for taking the time to get to know me because it did wonders. You give me hope everyday and inspire me to be an activist. Happy Birthday to you! :)

I love you so much, Larry. Peace on you and your loved-ones!

First Pair of Boots

Oh My Gosh!!

Smile.

So, I was rummaging through my belongings a while back before another big move and I happened to have stumbled upon my D.A.R.E. workbook. Epic fail. I had no idea what the concept of drugs and alcohol were as kids, haha. I remember a section talking about piercings and tattooing being a sign of being a juvenile delinquent..... Any who, this picture. My sister took this a year ago when we were Skyping because I couldn't keep this ridiculous picture to myself. This is from my workbook and it's a picture of who I am..."Not A Wanna-Be."

To me I look like a groooooovy-licious hippy stripper from San Francisco. Which, nothing against anybody who takes on these identities. I wish I could jump into my fifth grade brain and understand why my pictures always came out like this, haha. It never ceases to make me laugh because I turned out to be probably the more opposite I could be from this self-portrait.

My favorite part is that I had pump shoes and, you might be able to see it, I was going to have a long-sleeved shirt from those erased pencil lines. Whatevs, I'm a liberated and free woman always!

LALA!

1. Think positive thoughts. When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, stop it immediately by any means necessary. Slap yourself in the face, yell something positive at the top of your lungs or jump up and down. Do whatever it takes to get back to a positive mindset as such is essential for continual happiness and success. -http://www.highexistence.com/life-secrets-and-tips/comment-page-1/

Does anybody have any tips as to maintain a positive mindset. This is one of my biggest challenges in my adulthood. I never noticed the toll it took on me as a kid growing up, but I recognize I don't need to feel responsible for taking care of people. It's been difficult keeping up with positivity being in this weird transitional state between being a college student and an adult. I feel like an adult in every possible way. Honestly, I love it.

I used to think that having a positive mindset meant pure nativity. Now, not so much. I am able to conceive a realistic and positive mindset. I often feel that our culture is very restraining when it comes to feelings. One minute we're supposed to be strong patriarchs and then the next we should be self-mourning for all our pain. Seriously, we all just need a happy friggin medium. This is how I learned to have a happy medium.

1. Write as much as possible. Even if it's one word and you end up drawing a picture around it. Even if it's a conversation you overhead. Writing does more good than bad, in my opinion, and every time you pick up a pencil or type on your keyboard, your mind is expanding. Thus, you as a person are growing.

2. Look at the world through an artistic lens. No, you don't have to be a super artist to do this, but someone with an open mind. Pay attention to the miraculous details that surround us. Look at the cracks in leaves, or the way a tree bends, or even the way your sibling looks without makeup. Once you do this, you may feel you've been granted the grace of thoughtful perception as a person.

3. Laugh. Laugh your ass off as much as you can. I often get bogged down with politics and social disasters, but it's merely a choice. Choice to laugh and smile and not take every word so seriously in this world because it'll make you feel burnt out, I promise.

4. Love as many people as you can. Tell people you appreciate them and value their presence in your life because you don't know how much longer they will be by your side. Love through touch, words, smells, sights, laughing, sex, reading, ect. You get the point!

I always remind myself that I'm a good person at heart and that will take me far. People often overlook those who are genuine souls, but I promise you you are getting more from life than others simply by being that person.


__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I feel really bad for my partner. He's just too damn young to have a permanent nerve condition, possibly TM. I feel more aggravated because it's interfering to intensely with his future goals. He needs to continue his work with Positive Education/Psychology because the world needs it and, moreover, it's his new found passion. The distance has been really impacting me and my mindset. I adore having a long distance relationship, but there are most definitely trialing times where you wish the space could close a little but. I don't self-victimize because it's my choice to be here and I want is so badly. But there are many days where I want more. More passion. More kissing. More one on one time. Honestly, It's worth the wait every single time. I'm only having one of "those moments," but it will pass. Gosh, all I really want to do is cuddle and kiss him until the pain goes away and he drifts to sleep.

I have a habit of distracting myself with particular people, sometimes to a borderline unhealthy point. I can't replace anybody with anybody. Not my old best friend, or my partner. It's just so easy though because you don't have to think or feel emotionally vulnerable...until later. I feel so guilty whenever this happens, which is rare, but I still catch myself. It's not fair to anybody. Still, some nights there is sad silence in my head because I still don't want to come to complete terms with the changes in my life. I still have moments where I imagine myself verbally standing up for myself, but I fail to see my silence and acceptance as strength. Some days I just don't feel strong enough to think that I lost two best friends of over 10 years. I try not to take it personally, but, as you may imagine, it's a very personal happening. Still, my truth and fact is that I did the best I could, and I left on terms of my own. I can't deal with close friends not respecting me and thinking I will stick around. The old me would, but the new me will not, and that is a promise.

I just can't believe your gone sometimes and you're less than 10 miles away from me. Literally right down the street and, yet, life goes on.

Babysitting tomorrow! It'll be so nice to be around a young child again. They give me so much spirit and life...when they're happy little buggers. :)

I don't know who may be reading this. Perhaps no one but myself, haha. But I hope you having a wonderful night and you are maintaining a realistic, positive mindset.

Laugh!

Goal

The goal for today: read through this list and start applying the tips. Cheers all!


http://www.highexistence.com/life-secrets-and-tips/comment-page-1/