A Forgotten Piece.

I'm so happy for you and your sparked life endeavors, but I can't help but wish ever single day that you treated me like I was special and like I was worth something more than drunken phone calls. I wish you were able to see how much I have given my soul, just to nourish your being from complete and total failure: death. I wish I felt like I was something more than a tarnished woman from you. I wish I had been seen as a strong, important, and rare friends. I wish you would understand the level of disappointment I feel every day, deep down, from your rejection. I wish our friendship was worth more than your romantic relationships. I wish you had listened to me and taken my warnings seriously. I wish you wanted to have worked on our friendship on the level that I did and tried to. I wish it didn't have to come down to one last night of abuse, only to have me be barely less than fully gone. I wish you happiness in all your life choices and I wish I could be there for them. I wish I even knew what to say to you. And most of all, I wish you could have treated me differently through all of it, because not I can only perceive you as a guy who didn't give a damn about me overall in this crazy world, only to left for a someone else you respected more. I wish it didn't have to be a choice, but that's what it came down to. You made a clear and obvious choice.

And you're not even here to be proud of my beginning work for my first work. You have no idea about it, what it's going to be about and how serious I am about publishing it. Like those major, yet simple beings, you will be a character in my story whose connection has been marred. And this is devastating to me at certain hours of the day.

Again, I am so happy for you and I wish I could still be there, having been your biggest ally. Which I still remain from a large distance where you can't see it.

Snapshots of our Lives

Sometimes I can't grasp the beauty of such nostalgic memories. Nor can I fathom why this place pulls my heartstrings so severely, just by looking at a picture. We all really should embrace where we've been able to go and what we've seen because, who knows, we might lose touch with it's realness. Namaste.